Ever have that day that you don’t know what to do with yourself? I did. It started as soon as I got up – late, again. It was the second day in a row I turned my alarm off. Not snooze, turned off while I was still sleeping. I don’t even remember turning the alarm off. Happy in slumberland, I kept on sleeping for quite some time. Imagine my shock that it was much later than I thought. Yeah, one of those moments.
Starting the day annoyed is never a good sign. Then the annoyance led to frustration, which led to feeling off and antsy. I had no idea why. Those feelings kept building throughout the day. I wasn’t able to get started on anything on time (remember, the getting up late bit). The annoyance, frustration, and restlessness continued to build throughout the day. I could not reverse the course.
As the day went on, it continued to get worse.
I was itching.
Sometimes I can work through those days. My energy renewed for a moment. Yes, I thought, I will focus this energy and make it work for me. I will not be at the mercy of this. Sitting down at my desk, I started to edit some rough drafts. Anything to refocus it onto something else. But I couldn’t focus. I kept jumping around to different works in progress (I have a lot of them).
Everything is Awful
Every time I read through what I had written, I didn’t like it. I would begin to write the entire piece over. I had to stop myself because I was not in the right space to review and edit. There were too many rough drafts that I didn’t like for it to be about the writing. It was so frustrating. No matter what I did, I could not focus. My frustration increased because I had things that I wanted to get done.
This is the part of my post where I say that I gave myself some grace to have a bad day. Nope, I did not do that. I replayed over and over the reasons why my day had become crap. At the end of that day, I was more frustrated, more tired than I had been during the day. And nothing changed in my day.
Ugh. What a crap day. Game over.
Every day is not going to be the most fantastic day of all time. It is not how anything works. Life is messy, annoying, frustrating, etc. The more we try to gloss over that fact, the more frustrated we become. When I was trying to stop myself from feeling annoyed and frustrated, it made it worse. Maybe there is something to that whole giving yourself grace thing.