Plan, Then Plan Some More

planning keeps anxiety awayI am a planner. It is how I am most comfortable to be planning. It is what makes me a great navigator on our RV adventure. It also helps me look at where we will be staying so that I can begin to familiarize myself with the area. Doing that helps me manage my anxiety.

What happens when I don’t follow through with my plan? Well, let’s say that it isn’t good. And instead of doing what I know I need to do, I do something else because I don’t want to be the person who plans stuff all of the time. How about that for conflict?

This post is a two-part post. In this first part, I will tell you my plan for going to the farmer’s market when we were in Albuquerque. Part two is what happens when I don’t listen to what I know I need to do. It is how I still look to others to tell me how I should feel. It’s the ever-lasting effects of parental gaslighting.

Planning is Self-Care

Planning is how I can participate in self-care. I didn’t realize it until this particular situation. And now that I know that, I am trying very hard to be mindful of how that helps me. It may be annoying to some people. But I need to get over how what I do makes others feel.

The Best Laid Plans

I had this whole farmers market plan formulated before realizing that planning is one of my self-care items. As I thought about going to the local farmer’s market, I thought about how I wanted the day to proceed. I planned to get up and head out to the farmer’s market. I like getting to the farmer’s markets early.

Food + Coffee + Meds

Since they would be coffee and food there, I figured I didn’t need to make coffee or eat breakfast. I would need to bring my medication with me so that I could take it after eating.  Too easy to plan for that. I put my medication in my bag the night before to make sure I didn’t forget.

On the way to the market, we needed to stop by an ATM to take out cash. Not all vendors have the capability to process credit card payments. Part of my preparation was to get some money at an ATM on the way. So that when we parked, we could implement the first part of my plan.

Plan the ATM

Finding an ATM on the way involves using Google Maps. It isn’t simply Googling an ATM. Oh, no, that is too easy. Nope, my Google Mapping includes looking at the street view to determine the best way in and out of the ATM. But the street view doesn’t tell the whole picture, so looking at the satellite view is required.

If the first ATM is out of service, I have to have a backup and back to that backup. Each backup gets the street then satellite view treatment.

Plan the Parking

Once arriving at the market, finding parking would be the next item that I needed to plan. Uh oh, but there is mainly street parking, so that is impossible to prepare. Well, nearly impossible. First, I had to find what streets the market had on their website that would have parking.

Free street parking is great, but it is hard to plan for that – what street am I parking on? Will there be parking on that street? What if I have to keep driving around for a while? And on and on it goes

Then the same process with the ATM, cross-reference those streets on Google Maps, use Google Street View, and then satellite view. This way, I can begin to envision which roads I will drive down trying to park and my route if I don’t find parking.

And Then

One would think that it would all go as planned. What with all of my thorough planning. I mean, I started planning this a week before the farmer’s market. So, outside of complete planetary destruction, this was a solid plan.

I was very excited to have my plan. Now I could sleep, focus on other things, relax. The things that my brain does not allow me to do unless I have exhausted all planning options. I thought I was good. I wasn’t.

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