New Name! Cool Stuff Happening!

New Name! Cool Stuff Happening!

Change is Hard Change is scary, especially for someone like me, with complex PTSD and all that. I have gone back and forth on some changes for my blog. And the direction that I want to go with it. I have been pressuring myself to move forward, which only ended up...
Stop Yessing All Over The Place

Stop Yessing All Over The Place

In my previous post, My Fawning Yes Brain, I realized that my brain is going through a trauma response called fawning. Fawning is the official term, but I am still calling it my “Yes Brain.” After discussing this with my therapist, specifically around my...
My Fawning “Yes Brain”

My Fawning “Yes Brain”

I have decided that I no longer want to worry about my anxiety and depression when I travel. Sounds great, right? It’s also a bit of a pipe dream in my healing journey. That doesn’t mean that I am not going to try. I am heading to Europe for a riverboat cruise in May....
A Poem on Being a Puppet

A Poem on Being a Puppet

Puppeteer I am a puppet in a clown’s suit, smiling and dancing when I feel sad and tired.   Someone holds the strings of my life in their hands, moving them this way and that as I move helplessly about the stage of life.   Sometimes I change costumes.  ...
Am I Bruno?

Am I Bruno?

Ignorance is Bliss (?) Not many people ask me about my sobriety. Or about my mental health journey. They don’t ask me how it’s going. No one asks me questions about it. I have no idea what they think. Do they even have questions? I have no idea. One would assume that...
Bearing Witness to Me

Bearing Witness to Me

Witness to Survival Bearing witness to others’ stories helps me know that I can survive. So I watch, listen to, and read about others’ stories to see how they survived their abuse. Almost as important as surviving, is how they lived afterward. How they...
The Importance of Sharing My Story

The Importance of Sharing My Story

Being Vulnerable Bearing witness is sharing the parts of ourselves that we have hidden from the rest of the world. I survived by hiding myself, my pain, and my abuse.  As I walk this path, I realize how important it is to continue sharing my story. To bring...
Awareness Happens When We Bear Witness

Awareness Happens When We Bear Witness

I wrote about The Importance of Bearing Witness on December 22, 2020. Which now feels like a million years ago. Many things have changed in two years, but not my thoughts on how important it is for us to share our stories and to listen to the stories of others. ...
It’s April! Be Aware of Alcohol

It’s April! Be Aware of Alcohol

April is Alcohol Awareness Month. Who knew? Not me. I am very aware of alcohol. Probably too aware of alcohol. Since I was thirteen years old, I have been aware of alcohol and realized that alcohol would take away my pain. And make me able to talk to people. Side...
Spring is the Time

Spring is the Time

I was spiraling this past weekend as I wrote in Depression Spiral into Darkness. I went out hiking instead of the many things that my brain was telling me to do. It’s springtime here in the south. The forest is beginning to come alive. The vibrant colors of spring are...
Depression Spiral into Darkness

Depression Spiral into Darkness

I have been pondering how best to write what I am about to write. It is never easy to sit within the darkness of one’s mind, which in this situation is my mind. I don’t like it, this darkness. I never realized how dark my mind could be until it wasn’t for a while. It...
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